all that was once so hopeful has turned to bleak. dont patronise me cos I cant make you love me. yeah, that's right. you've heard me, so now go away. it isnt too bad to live on one-man island, right? maybe fishes wont play with my feelings.

I dont get it. if you hate me so much, whyy even bother to be nice when you need to make use of me? sheesh.

as much as this is (absolutely not) the right year to get emotionally attached to anything (objects to animals) or to anybody (for THAT matter), I have very little control over stuff right now. argh. C'MON! I know better than anybody else that any form of relationship makes ME vulnerable. ya know what that means? it means I'm surely to suffer yet another breakdown and prolly end up in the mental institution for all of my adulthood. hmm, I wonder if they have their very own zouk in the hospital. then again, I might be bound in the hospice. darn.